ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
