i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
