Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
