I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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