Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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