my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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