He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
