its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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