I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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