When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
