who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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