I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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