it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
