I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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