shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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