I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
