ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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