Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
