now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
