If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
