Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I fill condoms, not promises.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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