halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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