i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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