I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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