No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
