remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
