I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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