how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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