I bet he comes in French.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
