He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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