maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Boobs are out for the taking
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dick has a subreddit
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
