I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't shave. On purpose
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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