Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
