You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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