I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm