Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed