dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps