it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.