The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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