After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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