not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
