If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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