Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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