Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
