I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want to fling myself into the sun
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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