The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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