Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You're my little dorito

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  (269): You're my little dorito http://tfl.nu/8gay
  Replies (4) Good night (1830) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

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  (803): I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer. http://tfl.nu/7z73
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

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  (803): You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo http://tfl.nu/7wt5
  Replies (35) Good night (4228) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.

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  (650): Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot. http://tfl.nu/4k0i
  Replies (16) Good night (4335) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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  (484): Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/fa0o
  Replies (6) Good night (3860) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

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  (906): Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here http://tfl.nu/0qbu
  Replies (12) Good night (6073) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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  (316): I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex" http://tfl.nu/rqj6
  Replies (16) Good night (6405) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

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  (412): I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it http://tfl.nu/8y6r
  Replies (10) Good night (2673) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

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  (248): Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here http://tfl.nu/ic1h
  Replies (7) Good night (2842) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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  (410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5
  Replies (8) Good night (680) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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  (478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover http://tfl.nu/1qw9
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...

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  (267): Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket... http://tfl.nu/72dv
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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  (989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.

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  (662): Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know. http://tfl.nu/ri8v
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut

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  (563): P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut http://tfl.nu/74xa
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (130)

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