Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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  (402): god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic http://tfl.nu/9rrm
  Replies (2) Good night (1408) Bad night (661)
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  (530): View more from California

  We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

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  (530): We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef? http://tfl.nu/bmpn
  Replies (12) Good night (4112) Bad night (625)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?

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  (905): Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it? http://tfl.nu/ugmv
  Replies (91) Good night (2045) Bad night (17519)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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  (207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv
  Replies (42) Good night (1008) Bad night (6417)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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  (936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77
  Replies (33) Good night (1226) Bad night (8613)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...

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  (570): Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays... http://tfl.nu/ogn4
  Replies (10) Good night (2252) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that

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  (920): She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that http://tfl.nu/8ytu
  Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (4731)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1520) Bad night (546)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.

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  (724): Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/3pug
  Replies (11) Good night (2232) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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  (907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

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  (254): We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight. http://tfl.nu/fhx0
  Replies (4) Good night (1624) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.

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  (717): I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/33t2
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.

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  (304): We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lf7j
  Replies (7) Good night (616) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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  (303): Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles http://tfl.nu/b1h9
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

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  (219): You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week. http://tfl.nu/gko2
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (446)

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