I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.