Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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