That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize