im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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