I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
