I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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