Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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