sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
