I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
