I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
