I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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