mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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