i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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