hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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