OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
