I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize