THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize